Massage, Draping and Consent
Consent and Comfort: Why Communication Matters in Massage
Recently, I was discussing consent in an online forum with a massage customer. Massage therapists were responding to the customer, who wanted to know if they were overreacting to the service they received.
The customer had felt very uncomfortable with the practitioner’s touch and said their requests to adjust the pressure and draping were not honored.
As a massage therapist and educator in Washington State, I found this troubling. Our state has specific rules on draping and consent (WAC 246-830-560), and this situation raised red flags.
There were mixed opinions in the massage community about whether the practitioner should have responded differently—particularly after the client clearly withheld consent for certain types of touch and requested adjustments.
From both a practical and ethical standpoint, I have always trained massage therapists to honor any request from a client to change pressure, approach, or draping—especially when a client expresses discomfort or pain.
There are also liability concerns when delivering painful or uncomfortable treatments or when draping is inadequate.
During training, I emphasize that gender is irrelevant when it comes to privacy, consent, or draping. Even if you believe you share the same gender identity as your client, you must still respect their boundaries and comply with the laws that govern your practice. This isn’t just about compliance—it’s about providing respectful and inclusive customer service.
The consequences of disregarding a client’s comfort can include complaints, investigations, disciplinary action, and public reviews that may damage your reputation.
Why Feedback Matters
It is imperative that clients feel safe and heard. They are in a vulnerable position, and we must respect and honor that every day, for every client—even if we’ve seen them for years.
Simple Ways to Keep Clients Comfortable—and Protect Yourself
Here are some ways to create a consent-based, responsive, and compassionate practice:
Ask questions throughout treatment:
“How does this feel? Would you like any changes to pressure or draping?”
“Does the draping feel comfortable to you?”
“I’d like to work from [X] to [Y] to address a tense area—does that sound okay? If you change your mind at any point, just let me know.”
“I see you’ve left on your [item of clothing]. Would you prefer I work over it, skip the area, or adjust it so I can reach the [muscle group]?”
Many therapists tell me they feel awkward asking these questions or worry about interrupting the client’s relaxation. My answer: Be awkward if you must—but never be unintentionally inappropriate.
Time your check-ins
Try checking in every 15 minutes to ask about pressure or comfort. This builds trust without disrupting flow.
Provide a preview of what to expect:
“I usually work the gluteal and pectoral muscles (demonstrate on yourself). Is that okay with you?”
“I usually undrape the glutes so that I can use oil or lotion to treat the glutes and release the hip muscles—are your comfortable with that or should I drape you differntly for this area?”
“Your comfort is my top priority. If anything feels off, please tell me right away so I can adjust your draping or technique.”
“If you’re silent, I’ll assume you’re comfortable—but if anything needs changing, I’m counting on you to tell me. I like to give people space to fully relax.”
Takeaways
Feedback is a gift. Client input isn’t criticism—it helps you provide better care.
Clients aren’t there for your ego. They want great treatment. Stay focused on them.
Know your laws. Be clear on what your state requires regarding consent and draping.
Respect always applies. Body language, tone, and verbal requests must be honored.
Clothed massage is okay. If a client prefers to remain clothed, adjust. Focus on delivering the best care possible, even if it challenges your usual approach.
